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I wanted to write a message on COAP for a bit of hope and inspiration. In the darkest of times often it can be comforting to see some light and hear some hope. Life can be difficult as we all know and things happen that we do not want to happen and focus primarily on how we can fix them.
From my experience, I knew that I always was thinking "How can I fix Mum's addiction", "How can I make her love me more as a Mum should love her child", "How could I possibly make my Mum change in to the Mum my friends had". As a young child, "How can I" questions wondered around my head. We are human. We all need to be loved and cared for and for me, I feel that we must start with ourselves. For years and years, I grew up to believe what my Mum had always told me when she had a drink which lowered my self esteem and confidence - now I understand what I was told was complete nonsense. I didn't love myselfgrowing up, I just wanted my Mum to love me. I thought if my Mum loved me enough, she would stop drinking and each time she continued to drink I believed that I was not someone to love.
As a young adult at the age of 16 and experiencing the passing of my Mum, I thought how could someone possibly love and care for me when I found it tough to love and care for myself. They day I changed my life was the day of sharing my tough times with those who listened; a teacher or a friend in my case. Having a coffee with a friend, taking a break, treating myself to the purfume I have always wanted and going after my dream goals FOR ME, all proves that I now care for myself and believe that life is what we make it. Difficulties have proven that nothing can stand in my way. I have learnt that there are always bound to be twists and turns in the road of life, but there is always another path to take. Some obstacles are tougher than others, and I know now that I did the best I could, with what I could, at the time when living with my alcoholic Mum.
Sharing how we feel to people who understand had really helped me to get my life back on track. Nothing stands in my way of achieving my goals, even if this means that my decisions happen to be disagreed by others. Happiness is at the heart of my life now, and on a difficult day I always seem to think of what I could do to lift my mood and bring happiness back in to my life. For me, reading happy quotes and watching a comedy film always seems to do just this.
COAP and members have been brilliant in the support it has provided for me. When I was younger and going through a traumatic time, all hope was lost and I thought that I would never experience a peaceful life at all. But here I am, living happiness like never before. COAP has changed my life and helped me go after what makes me happy the most and understand what truly matters in life.
I hope that this message helps to share strength and hope.