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Its children of alcoholic’s week which personally I think it’s very important. Alcohol abuse is a subject people are too scared and shamed too talk about, but why? It’s a subject that’s needs to be talked about, needs to be understood but why is it when you try to talk about it people run from it? Say they’re too busy to talk, or it’s too painful for them, but isn’t it bad to keep your emotions bottled up. People use to say to me don’t keep your emotions bottled up, but every time I tried to talk no one would listen, then I would feel rejected and let down yet again. These feelings are feelings which children of alcoholics feel a lot. I use to be the one who would hide my dad’s addiction, hide my feelings with a smile, I didn’t realise it then.
Suddenly I had to grow up long before I was ready, my childhood was taken from me because of alcohol abuse, but I had no choice in the matter. Like other children I didn’t know who to turn too. I was too scared and ashamed to tell anyone. I guess I didn’t want to worry anyone, but looking back I wish I had talked too someone, I don’t see how I could get thought it. I had to look after my father in denial about his addiction, time after time I kept thinking this is the bridge, but it just ended in failure and left me feeling hurt and let down yet again. I couldn’t understand how or why my dad would put his daughter his family though this hell. I learnt I had to accept my father’s addiction for what it was; I couldn’t help him he had to help himself. I admit I really didn’t want to accept it because that would mean I had lost the caring, loving father I knew him as, and that left me feeling incredibly sad. Children of alcoholic’s have a lot of sadness that they have to deal with and sometimes it can be very over whelming. Sometimes children of alcoholics have to walk away from their parent with the addiction it doesn’t mean they don’t care or don’t love them, it means they have had enough and have to take care of them self’s because remember YOU are important too. Children should be seen not hurt.
Like Davina McCall says in an interview, “I realised my mum was damaged, I too have come too release my father and mother are damaged and there isn’t anything I can do to help them, I just have to learn from their mistakes and don’t make the same ones”. Reading Davina’s interviews about her unsettling childhood and her own addiction make me admire her a lot, it has also made me more open about my unsettling childhood. Like Davina I was also looked after by my Nan, I admit it’s not the same as having a mum and dad, but it could have been a lot worse. I just know when I have a family of my own I will give them all the support and love I can. I’ll give them the childhood I never had, they won’t have to carry the worries I had too and still do. I would say Davina McCall is am inspiration for being so honest about her own addiction and her mothers.
Life can be very hard for children of alcoholic and can feel very lonely, but I promise you, you aren’t alone and you CAN make a positive future no matter what anyone else says just believe you can and you will.
Share your story, give hope and inspire.
If anyone needs advice or someone to listen visit www.coap.org.uk